LEVITICUS - JOSHUA: BIBLE STORY POETRY

LEVITICUS - JOSHUA: BIBLE STORY POETRY

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This is the second book in the Bible Story poetry series.  It features poem stories on every Bible story in the books of Leviticus, Numbers, Deuteronomy, and Joshua.


This is not your typical Bible Story book for small children.  It is for teens and adults and provides an entertaining, edgy, humorous, fresh approach to Bible reading while maintaining integrity with the actual Biblical account.


A great source for pastors and youth pastors from which to illustrate their lessons and sermons.


Titles such as: Naughty Boys, Don’t Get Stoned, Nose Vomit, Wise Spies and Gutless Guys, Nutty Staff, Mission Unaccomplished, Family Feud, Israelite Snake Bite, The Ass With Class, Bellyache Mistake, Nun Fun, Ouch, and more.


Here is an example from Numbers 11:


NOSE VOMIT


The Israelites complained about

The food they had to eat

‘Cause manna was their daily meal

And they were craving meat


So Moses was disgusted

And he let Jehovah know

“These dummies you have given me

Have caused a lot of woe”


“I’m sick of all these people

They all act like I’m their father

Why did you save these idiots?

Why did you even bother?”



“They grumbled from the day we left

They built a golden cow

I’m sick and tired of leading them

So please – just kill me now”


I’m not exaggerating

That is really what he said

His cup was full from all their bull

He’d just as soon be dead


The God spoke back to Moses

And he said, “I’ve heard their plea

If they are tired of manna

Then I’ll give a guarantee


For one full month I’ll feed them quail

‘Til it runs out their nose

The meat will stick between their teeth

And some will decompose


And sure enough he sent the quail

It was a clever trick

For weeks that’s all they had to eat

And most of them got sick


And just as God predicted

Quail was dripping through their snout

Their sinus drainage was a mess

They couldn’t blow it out


And some got stuck between their teeth

Where it would putrefy

And if you smelled their stinky breath

You’d probably want to die




God sent his fire and many died

A lesson would be learned

Be careful what you ask for

If the answer gets you burned


BIBLE VERSES

Numbers 11

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